Coping cards are prompts, not magic instructions. A useful set helps a child remember practised options when language and working memory are under strain. It does not assume that every strategy works for every child.
Quick answer: Look for short wording, clear visuals, different types of coping, a manageable number of choices, and instructions for practising while calm. The child should be able to reject a card that does not fit.
Look for Functional Variety
A balanced set includes more than breathing:
- body-based options such as stretching or paced movement;
- sensory options that can be safely adapted;
- connection and help-seeking prompts;
- brief cognitive prompts;
- choices for taking space and returning;
- communication phrases.
Avoid sets where every card is a version of “think positive” or where strategies require equipment unavailable in the intended setting.
Check Usability
Cards should be readable at their printed size, visually distinct without being distracting, and durable enough for repeated handling. Consider whether a child can point instead of speak. For classrooms, check whether strategies can be used discreetly and how the student returns to learning.
Plan Selection and Practice
Do not hand over forty cards during escalation. Preview several when calm, let the child sort them into “might help,” “not for me,” and “depends,” then keep three to five accessible. Practise what each action actually looks like and when adult help is needed.
Effectiveness is shown by greater choice, communication, recovery, or participation—not immediate silence. Remove any card that is unsafe, inaccessible, shaming, or used as forced compliance.
Related SafeSEL Guides
- Build a useful calm-down toolkit
- When a child rejects calming strategies
- Plan a calm-corner return
- Browse coping cards
Sources
Sources and further reading
- Helping Little People Manage Big Feelings — American Academy of Pediatrics — HealthyChildren.org
- 4 Play Activities to Help Children Manage Emotions — American Academy of Pediatrics — HealthyChildren.org
- Why Kids Act Out: Tips to Help Your Child Cope With Stress — American Academy of Pediatrics — HealthyChildren.org
