A friendship skills group should increase students’ options, not train everyone to socialize in the same way. Start with what members want help doing: joining an activity, declining an invitation, handling disagreement or finding adult support.
Build the group around a shared learning goal
For friendship social skills lessons, check whether group discussion is appropriate for each student and whether current conflicts make the grouping unsafe. Explain participation choices before starting. Speaking, pointing to an option or observing a demonstration can all provide access; eye contact is not a measure of friendship.
Choose social skills resources with fictional situations, manageable reading demands and more than one reasonable response. Do not ask students to reenact a recent incident involving another group member.
Teach a choice, then practice it
For a joining activity, model “Is there a role I could take?” alongside “I’ll find something else.” Discuss when each choice fits. Use social skills prompts to explore what changes when exclusion is repeated or used to control someone. Adults must address that pattern rather than give the excluded student more practice being agreeable.
End by asking where the option might be useful and what adult support is available. At the next meeting, review access and comfort rather than counting friends or rewarding extroversion.
Practice friendship conflict and repair
Responding to repeated peer exclusion
Further reading: StopBullying.gov: what bullying includes
Sources and further reading
- The School Counselor and Group Counseling — ASCA
- Action & Expression — CAST
- Engagement — CAST
- What Is the CASEL Framework? — CASEL
- Support the Children Involved — StopBullying.gov
